Story

I'm a senior web developer (10 years), but in the past three years, I’ve struggled with anxiety, and my performance has suffered because of it. I started a new job last year but I was let go due to performance and am now wondering how to move forward.

Councilling has made it clear my job and my personal traits are the root cause of my anxiety. Being conscious of what others think of me and fearing making mistakes doesn't mix well with code reviews, sprints and constant deadlines.

The anxiety causes tight muscles, brain fog, adrenaline rushes, and exhaustion, making me 30% slower. It’s a vicious cycle: more anxiety makes me slower, which then fuels more anxiety.

I'm working on this through counselling, journaling, self-reflection, and meditation, but what do I do now? I need to find a new job, but a fast-moving startup environment will just lead to the same outcome.

I do want meaningful work—I don't want to pick my nose all day. But I need a less demanding environment. All I see on LinkedIn are "fast-moving" startup roles. Are there any slower paced web dev jobs? I'm fine taking a pay cut for the right pace and environment. Taking a mid level job is a possibility but they seem scarce and I'm wary of just eventually being given senior work load.

The only other option is to change career within or outside of software. I have no ideas here, and to be honest, this is rather frightening. I'd be curious to hear what others have done.

If you have any tips on the above, have similar programming-related anxiety issues, and/or have overcome them, please share what you can. It will really help me out.